Rage
I don’t sit well with the realization that there is someone out there who is using my parents for their own benefit.
All I can say is that this person, is fucking lucky I’m sitting in Eugene, Or. relatively far away from them.
It’s taking everything to not call them/message them/contact them and threaten the fuck out of them and generally be an asshole to them.
I am so fucking pissed.
Hey I do hope you can just sit awhile and not say anything to her. I understand and know your feelings are justified, but at this point I think if anyone of us make any sort of contact it will 1) fall on deaf ears and 2) not make the situation any better. Just realize she is a person who is very sick, and doesn’t understand nor want to accept that everything she does has consequences and her actions have a ripple effect on everyone. Stay strong, Dani.
People make me sick
Fuck your diet
Seriously I’d staple this to my coworker’s face if I knew it would help her in some way. She’s probably 5’6” and maybe 120lbs? She says she isn’t skinny enough. She has told me she doesn’t wear shorts because, “She still has a lot of work to do at the gym.”
I felt like an idiot for inviting her and her husband to a “chunky dunk” pdx pool party. It’s a body positive environment; a bunch of people of all different sizes go swimming for a few hours with no judgments. I love it. Sara and I do it yearly now. Little did I realize, her and her husband are two people not only married to each other but married to their eating disorders.
They had NO pictures of themselves; save one. A picture of him on the fridge. One of him being overweight, and the other of him slim, fit, and smiling. Only two words on that sheet of paper. ”Then. Now.” On their fucking fridge. I felt so stupid to invite them, and even a bigger idiot in trying to befriend her. She was gone for a week and I think maybe my boss and my other coworker mentioned, “fat, diets, exercise, skinny, thin,” maybe a handful of times?
When my dumbass coworker is working I think these words are mentioned daily. Longest time one of those words weren’t said was for 3-4 hours. I strive to be body positive, but this bitch tries to bring everyone down. Everyone pays her compliments on how much weight she has lost, and she has lost a lot of weight. I refuse to pay her a compliment, because I feel it feeds into the machine of female degrading and also equating female beauty/self worth to weight/thinness. Fuck that shit. What is even sadder, she denies these compliments.
“No, I’m not really thin.”
“No, I still have a ways to go.”
Girl, you need to go talk to a specialist about your self-image/worth. You have issues. And really no one wants to hear how you’re dieting or you spend nearly 2 hours everyday 7 days a week working out.
Gluten for at least two weeks
Bagel everyday. I can’t believe I can finally have some gluten.
Goals for summer.
- Visit my sister and her girlfriend in Olympia.
Hope we can see you soon too!!! :) Nugget would like to meet you!
Slipping away
I feel the people I used to know are slipping away and I am ambivalent to it. That incredible gaping hole I would feel as a kid whenever I thought about my dad is back but it is a new hole now.
It is raw and it hurts so much it is a giant weight on my chest. A combo between an anxiety attack and an asthma attack. I just cry because you are dead to me. Nothing I can do to change that. I tell myself I don’t care…. and starting to believe I don’t.
Sara is always there and I am thankful I have that.
“
Hipster is as hipster does.
